JOHN NEWTON’S AUTOBIOGRAPHY WRITTEN IN THE FORM OF LETTERS TO A FRIEND.
Service to
Working in
Writes to
his father for help
Merchant
ship (Greyhound) arrives in
Captain
enquires for John Newton
LETTER VI.
DEAR SIR,
Working in
There is much piety in the grateful
acknowledgment of Jacob. "With my staff I passed this Jordan, and now I am
become two bands." They are words which ought to affect me with a peculiar
emotion. I remember that some of those mournful days, to which my last letter
refers, I was busied in planting some lime or lemon trees. The plants I put in
the ground were no longer than a young gooseberry bush. My master and his mistress, passing by the
place, stopped awhile to look at me. At last, "Who knows," says he,
"but by the time these trees grow up and bear, you may go home to
This, as he intended it, was a cutting
sarcasm. I believe he thought it quite
as probable that I should live to be king of Poland; yet it proved a
prediction, and they (one of them at least) lived to see me return from England
in the capacity he had mentioned, and pluck some of the first limes from those
very trees.
How can I proceed in my relation, till I raise
a monument to the divine goodness, by comparing the circumstances in which the Lord
has since placed me, with what I was at that time? Had you seen me, sir, then
go so pensive and solitary in the dead of night to wash my one shirt upon the
rocks, and afterwards put it on wet, that it might dry upon my back while I
slept; had you seen me so poor a figure that, when a ship's boat came to the
island, shame often constrained me to hide myself in the woods from the sight
of strangers; especially, had you known that my conduct, principles, and heart
were still darker than my outward condition, how little would you have
imagined, that one who so fully answered to the "hateful and hating one
another" of the apostle was reserved to be so peculiar an instance of the
providential care and goodness of God. There was, at that time, but one earnest
desire in my heart which was not contrary and shocking, both to religion and
reason; that one desire, though my vile, licentious life rendered me peculiarly
unworthy of success, and though a thousand difficulties seemed to render it
impossible, the Lord was pleased to gratify. But this favour, though great, and
greatly prized, was a small thing compared to the blessings of His grace; He
spared me to give me "the knowledge of Himself in the person of Jesus
Christ." In love to my soul, He delivered me from the pit of corruption,
and cast all my aggravated sins behind His back. (Isaiah xxxviii. 17.) He
brought my feet into the paths of peace.
This is indeed the chief article, but it is not
the whole. When He made me acceptable to Himself in the Beloved, He gave me
favour in the sight of others. He raised me new friends, protected and guided
me through a long series of dangers, and crowned every day with repeated
mercies. To Him I owe it that I am still alive, and that I am not still living
in hunger, and in thirst, and in nakedness, and the want of all things: into
that state I brought myself, but it was He who delivered me. He has given me an
easy situation in life, some experimental knowledge of His gospel, a large
acquaintance amongst His people, a friendship and correspondence with several
of His most honoured servants. But it is as difficult to enumerate my present
advantages, as it is fully to describe the evils and miseries of the preceding
contrast.
Writes to his father for help
I know not exactly how long things continued
with me thus, but I believe near a twelve month. In this interval I wrote two or three times
to my father; I gave him an account of my condition, .and desired his
assistance; intimating at the same time, that I had resolved not to return to
England, unless he was pleased to send for me. I have likewise letters by me
written to Miss - in that dismal period; so that, at the lowest ebb, it seems I
still retained a hope of seeing her again. My father applied to his friend in
Some time within the year, as I have said, I
obtained my master's consent to live with another trader who dwelt upon the
same island. Without his consent I could not be taken, and he was unwilling to
do it sooner, but it was then brought about. This was an alteration much to my
advantage. I was soon decently clothed, lived in plenty, was considered as a
companion, and trusted with the care of all his domestic effects, which were to
the amount of some thousands of pounds. This man had several factories, and
white servants in different places, particularly one in Kittam, the river I
spoke of, which runs near along the sea coast. I was soon appointed to go
there, where I had a share in the management of business, jointly with another
of his servants. We lived as we pleased, business flourished, and our employer
was satisfied. Here I began to be wretch enough to think myself happy. There is
a significant phrase frequently used in those parts, that such a white man is
grown," black." It does not imply an alteration of complexion, but
disposition. I have known several, who,
settling in Africa after the age of thirty or forty, have, at that time of
life, been gradually assimilated to the tempers, customs, and ceremonies of the
natives, so far as to prefer that country to England. They have even become
dupes to all the pretended charms, necromancies, amulets, and divinations of
the blinded negroes, and put more trust in such things than the wiser sort
among the natives. A. part of this spirit of infatuation was growing upon me;
in time, perhaps, I might have yielded to the whole. I entered into closer
engagements with the inhabitants, and should have lived and died a wretch
amongst them, if the Lord had not watched over me for good. Not that I had lost
those ideas which chiefly engaged my heart to England, but despair of seeing
them accomplished made me willing to remain where I was. I thought I could more
easily bear the disappointment in this situation than nearer home. But so soon
as I had fixed my connections and plans with these views, the Lord
providentially interposed to break them in pieces, and save me from ruin in
spite of myself.
Merchant ship (Greyhound) arrives in
Captain enquires for John Newton
In the meantime the ship that had orders to
bring me home arrived at
Every particular of this was false; nor could I
myself believe what he said about the estate; but, as I had some expectations
from an aged relation, I thought a part of it might be true. But I was not long
in suspense; for though my father's care and desire to see me had too little
weight with me, and would have been insufficient to make me quit my retreat,
yet the remembrance of Miss -, the hopes of seeing her, and the possibility
that accepting this offer might once; more put me in a way of gaining her hand,
prevailed over all other considerations. The captain further promised (and in
this he kept his word) that I should lodge in his cabin, dine at his table, and
be his constant companion, without expecting any service from me. And thus I
was suddenly freed from a captivity of about fifteen months. I had neither a
thought nor a desire of this change one hour before it took place. I embarked
with him, and in a few hours lost sight of Kittam.
How much is their blindness to be pitied, who
can see nothing but chance in events of this sort! So blind and stupid was I at
that time, I made no reflection. I sought no direction in what had happened.
Like a wave of the sea, driven with the wind and tossed, I was governed by
present appearances, and looked no farther. But He, who is eyes to the blind,
was leading me in a way that I knew not.
Now I am in some measure enlightened, I can
easily perceive that it is in the adjustment and concurrence of these
unexpected circumstances, that the ruling power and wisdom of God is most
evidently displayed in human affairs. How many such casual events may we remark
in the history of Joseph, which had each a necessary influence in his ensuing
promotion. If he had not dreamed, or if he had not told his dream; if the
Midianites had passed by a day sooner, or a day later; if they had sold him to
any person but Potiphar; if his mistress had been a better woman; if Pharaoh's
officers had not displeased their lord; or if any or all these things had
fallen out in any other manner or time than they did, all that followed had
been prevented. The promises and purposes of God concerning Israel, their
bondage, deliverances, polity, and settlement must have failed; and, as all
these things tended to and centred in CHRIST,the promised Saviour, the Desire
of all nations would not have appeared; mankind had been still in their sins,
without hope; and the counsels of God's eternal love, in favour of sinners,
defeated.
Thus we may see a connection between Joseph's
first dream and the death of the Lord Jesus, with all its glorious
consequences. So strong, though secret, are the links between the greatest and
the smallest events. What a comfortable thought is this to a believer, to know,
that amidst all the various interfering designs of men, the Lord has one
constant design, which He cannot, will not, miss, namely, His own glory in the
complete salvation of His people; and that He is wise, and strong, and faithful
to make even those things .which seem contrary to this design, subservient to
promote it.
You have allowed me to comment upon my own
text, yet the length of this observation may need some apology.
Believe me to be, with great respect,
Dear
Sir,
Your affectionate and obliged
Servant.